About time too

fresh snow on the street at dawnWith the media frenzy over the past week, you’d think we were about to experience the Second Coming rather than a short period of frozen precipitation. It’s easier to be cynical about exaggerated snow reports when you live in (mostly) snow-free London, but I know that part of my cynicism is actually a result of ENVY. I love snow! Some people like to watch or listen to waves breaking on a beach; some like watching fish in a tank; some prefer to meditate and listen to whales farting. I prefer to reach my chillout zone (haha!) by watching snow fall. I could sit for hours, watching the distant grey speckles gradually getting closer… larger, whiter, fluffier. And that’s why the largely incorrect weather forecasting for this part of the country has been particularly frustrating for me. I want to play in the snow!

I’ve never quite understood where we Brits get our reputation for talking endlessly about the weather. I rarely speak to anyone about the weather, except to comment when I’m particularly hot/wet/cold. On the odd occasions when I do take an interest, though, I usually find Metcheck to be accurate and comprehensive. This week, excited at the prospect of PLAYING IN THE SNOW, I’ve been checking their site regularly and finding it to be… mostly wrong.

On Wednesday evening, I was delighted to see that Metcheck were forecasting a period of heavy snow for my postcode area, beginning at midnight that night. It didn’t snow. I checked the site again around midnight, but the forecast had changed… the snow was due to start at 6am. I awoke on Thursday morning to pouring rain. Checked the site to find they’d backtracked again, now forecasting snow for 9am. It rained almost all day.

As you can see from the picture (taken at 6:45am) we now have snow. According to Metcheck, though, I should be expecting, between the hours of 6am and 9am today, heavy cloud and precisely zero precipitation. Doh!

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New music purchases

It’s been a bit of a music acquisition week so far. It’s also been one of those times when I wonder why I don’t do all my online shopping from US-based sites. Around a month ago, I ordered the DVD of ‘The Wizard of Oz’, from Amazon UK to replace Nicola’s old VHS copy. It arrived over two weeks later… I mean, it’s hardly an obscure special order item, is it? On the other hand, at the end of last week, I placed three orders for CDs from three different companies in the US… they all arrived between Monday and Wedesday of this week.

But anyway, the latest acquisitions…

Steve Vai, ‘Piano Reductions Vol 1′
I’ve pretty much lost interest in Steve’s guitar career over the past three or four albums, but this was always going to be interesting… Mike Keneally playing his solo piano arrangements of a number of Vai compositions. It’s a beautiful thing and shows not only that Keneally is a fantastic pianist but also that Vai is a damn good composer.

Bumblefoot, ’9/11′, ‘Hands’, ‘Live at the RMA’ DVD
I already had these, but as mp3s from friends. I like to support artists I really care about, so have now replaced the mp3s with shiny CDs! These two CDs show the breadth of Ron Thal‘s talent… from the guitar lunacy of ’9/11′ to the tight rock songwriting of ‘Hands’. The DVD, filmed at Raleigh Music Academy in North Carolina, is a real treat… great to see a good recording of Ron playing live.

Jonathan Kreisberg Trio, ‘Nine Stories Wide’
Having been impressed by Jonathan’s previous album ‘Trioing’ last year, I grabbed this as soon as I saw it on CDBaby. It’s a similar sort of album, but if anything, it sounds more assured, more relaxed. The playing on ‘Just in Time’ is absolutely blinding.

Andre LaFosse, ‘Disruption Theory’
Andre La Fosse is one of the most interesting and creative players out there at the moment. He’s probably best known (especially from his CD ‘Normalized’) for his live looping work, but this earlier album sounds like it blends looping with more traditional studio overdubbing. It’s a pretty stunning collection of rhythms and textures, and although Andre mostly gets talked about in ‘experimental’ circles, this album is much groovier than that would suggest.

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F’KIN A!

Bad news for fans of Beatles songs reinvented as Metallica songs. Beatallica, pioneers, trendsetters and global superstars in this sadly under-represented genre, have been issued with a cease-and-desist order (which you can read in PDF form).

And no, it’s *not* from Metallica’s lawyers, surprisingly enough, it’s from Sony/ATV, owners of the Beatles originals. And yes, of course they have every right to do this, but it’s another example of short-sighted greed and paranoia from a large media corporation. I’d be very surprised if the public image and reputation of the Beatles (or Metallica) have in any way been harmed by the Beatallica covers. I mean, come on… fans of two very different bands, introduced to each others’ music… what’s the problem?!

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Ugandan discussions and big balls

Fans of satirical/anti-sleaze/media-commentary magazine Private Eye may be interested in this site… Ugandan Discussions features cover scans of every issue of the Eye since 1961. Yes, even the really notorious one that WHSmiths refused to sell. [via BoingBoing]

Elsewhere, a shiny black spherical robot, originally developed by Swedish scientists for use on Mars, is now being mooted as a future anti-burglar device. If you’ve ever seen cult TV series The Prisoner, you’ll see how they’ve missed a trick with the design. Paint it white, make it bouncy… it’d scare the shit out of baby boomer burglars.

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Lifestyle shopping for idiots

woman abuses Ikea staff at Edmonton store opening fracasI wonder what she’d gone to buy… a JERKER computer desk, maybe? Or a KLUBBO coffee table? Or maybe just a few pairs of PLASTIS rubber gloves?

Whatever, she’s pretty angry. Of course, that may be because a loved one has been hurt in the crush, but I suspect it’s because she’s missed out on a bargain. Perhaps she was one of those people who abandoned their cars on the North Circular, such was their rush to get to the Ikea store opening.

You know what this picture reminds me of? It’s a bit like an image we’ve seen countless times in newspapers and TV news bulletins… women from Palestine, Israel, Ireland or Fillintheblankland, grieving for their dead fathers, husbands or sons, screaming hysterically at security forces. Think about those images and then look back at this one. Is this a depiction of our society, rich beyond our grandparents’ wildest dreams, hellbent on frenzied consumption and too wound up in our own trivial problems to appreciate our comfortable lifestyle?

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Please give me back my news!

I grinned as I bought a copy of The Independent today. Instead of the usual front page layout, they had lots of boxes containing headlines and straplines to various major news stories, topped by the headline “HERE IS THE NEWS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED”.

Down in the bottom right corner, in a tiny little box, the line “And in other news… Charles to wed (page 6)”. Okay, so it’s a pretty smug little joke for educated middle class people, but a small article on page 6 is pretty much what the story warrants. A divorcee minor celebrity is marrying another divorcee from a similar social circle. Big deal.

Other papers clearly don’t share the Independent’s values… even my normal read, The Guardian, seemed to have more big photos and frothing coverage than I’d have liked. No match for the Daily Mail, with its *21 pages* of coverage, though. And as just about every branch of the media is at great pains to remind us, the country is divided on the issue… we all feel so strongly one way or another. Er, no… I really couldn’t give a toss.

The Daily Mirror points out that “if it were up to Mirror readers, Charles and Camilla would not be getting married”. Indeed, and that’s why, thanks to universal suffrage, people other than Mirror readers are thankfully still capable of deciding the future of the country…

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More carefully chosen amusement products for your leisure hour

I’m doing a lot of laughing this week, it seems. I’m still not entirely clear on where this originated (all links seem to lead to a David Miyamasu) or whether it’s really aimed at non-Christians like me, but I really laughed my deuteronomies off at ‘Baby Got Book’ (12.6MB wmv file).

“You Christian brothers just can’t deny
that when a girl walks in with a KJV
and a bookmark in Proverbs you get
STOKED”

A more wry, world-weary kind of laugh came (via BoingBoing) with the story of two well-meaning Colorado teenagers, who decided it’d be a nice gesture to make cookies for all the people in their neighbourhood. Well, I’d be pretty damn chuffed if someone brought me unsolicited cookies, and I know you would be too. However, the big-hearted girls weren’t counting on running into the very worst of modern paranoia culture… one neighbour, a Wanita Renea Young, was so traumatised by hearing someone at the door so late in the evening that she had a panic attack, which she thought was a heart attack. She successfully sued the girls for $900 of medical expenses. It’s a crazy world.

And on more of a geeky trivia theme, CBC (Canada’s public broadcasting service) have produced a nice little photo-essay on the history of portable audio, from the very first pocket (-ish) sized transistor radio to the iPod… Bring the Noise. Okay, the last paragraph sounds a bit too much like it’s been cut’n'pasted from an Apple press release, but it’s a nice little article.

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We are Zogg

Found via jwz, this made me laugh a lot…

My Little Golden Book About Zogg

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Senses working overtime

Esref Armagan paints pictures in oils. He is also blind and has been for the whole of his life.

File this under “Next time I whinge about anything trivial, please slap me”.

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Televisual anticipation

http://www.trashbat.co.ck

There’s a decent feature about Chris Morris (and ‘Nathan Barley’, the new comedy series he’s co-written with Charlie Brooker) in today’s Observer. One little factual error therein… Chris never “announced the death of Michael Heseltine” on Radio 1. His words were “if we hear about the death of Michael Heseltine, we’ll let you know”… ambiguous, but not the same thing.

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