The View from the Spaghetti Factory

Ha! When I wrote that last football post, I had no idea quite how effective the England team would be in sealing McClaren’s fate.

England 2 – 3 Croatia

They were absolutely bloody woeful. Out of the starting eleven, Joe Cole was competent (although nowhere near his full potential) and Peter Crouch was excellent, doing everything that could be expected of him. However, the lone striker in a 4-5-1 formation is supposed to be knocking balls down to the attacking midfielders, and they just weren’t there. The introduction of Beckham added a touch of class (as well as the necessary support for Crouch in a more comfortable 4-4-2) while Defoe contributed a little extra, not least earning the penalty.

Every other player was either under par or utterly incompetent. Croatia must have wondered whether they’d mixed up their flights to Skopje and London… while Macedonia battled hard for their win, England played like international minnows, leaving Croatia players to run in acres of space and firing loose balls into dangerous positions. This was not a difficult qualification group for a major football nation, despite the improved form of Israel and Russia, nor can England blame bad luck or dodgy refereeing. To drop thirteen points in ten games is inexcusable. Croatia looked good, but barely seemed to be trying. England created their own downfall.

As I write this, McClaren has not yet resigned or been sacked, but it’s almost inevitable that he’ll be clearing his desk at some point during the next couple of days (if not, there’s something *really* wrong at the FA). Intriguingly, the BBC reveals that Marcello Lippi, former trophy-hogging coach of Juventus and Italy, has turned down the job of manager at Birmingham City. If I was in a senior position at the FA, I think I’d interpret this as a sign. There’s your next England manager, right there. Not only is he hugely successful, he also smokes cigars. On the touchline! How much cooler can a manager be? The man’s a legend… let’s get him!

(Oh, and if you’re on Facebook, join my Lippi for England group)

Steve McClaren’s comedy tenure as England coach is slowly approaching the punchline. He now insists both that England will qualify for Euro 2008 and that he’ll keep his job. Well, well. A bit of bullish confidence on behalf of his players is commendable, but what about the second claim?

There certainly seem to be vague suggestions of hints emanating from FA HQ, to the effect that things aren’t entirely hopeless for Second Choice Steve. To confuse matters, the laughably pompous John Terry has backed McClaren this week. Terry’s last foray into the world of football politics, you may recall, was (allegedly!) to stir up the dressing room mutiny that led to Jose Mourinho’s resignation from Chelsea.

With the final (and possibly academic) qualifier against Croatia looming, the likely absences of Rooney and Terry assume greater importance than they deserve. Statistically, England do perfectly well without either of them, thank you very much. However, McClaren’s constant inability to find a Plan B is obvious once more… “We need as many big-game players as possible,” he says, completely forgetting the lessons he should have learned in the recent string of 3-0 victories. We need a balanced, solid TEAM, Steve.

Personally, I don’t think McClaren’s job should depend on England qualifying. Dropping 10 points in a relatively easy qualification group is a good enough reason to dismiss him immediately after the Croatia game. If, by the grace of statistical permutation, England do qualify, it will be *despite* McClaren’s efforts, and there will still be time for a proper coach to assert his influence before the tournament starts.