The View from the Spaghetti Factory

Germany 1 – 1 Argentina
(Germany win 4-2 on penalties)

Plenty of people were looking forward to this being the match of the tournament, but it never really lived up to the hype. The quality of football was still pretty impressive, but both teams had replaced some of their full-blooded attacking spirit with an element of defensive caution, resulting in a more typical World Cup quarter final. Germany, in particular, looked a lot more solid at the back than they have done so far, with Mertesacker pulling off some cool-headed clearances under pressure. The speculative shooting wasn’t so much in evidence, but when Miroslav Klose is on such reliable form, why worry?

To be honest (and putting aside any traditional English prejudices) I think the tournament is poorer for losing either of these teams. I never thought I’d say that after Germany’s shaky start, but they’ve turned into an exciting team to watch. And I never, EVER thought I’d say that! Argentina have never quite matched the visual appeal of their performance against Serbia & Montenegro, but I’m sure they were good enough to win the competition. Unfortunately, they join a long line of World Cup also-rans (mostly consisting of Holland, it would seem) who had all the ability but none of the luck.

Italy 3 – 0 Ukraine

Like Germany, Italy are gradually finding their feet as the tournament progresses, in stubborn contrast to the scandal and tragedy back home. Reducing Ukraine to just a handful of meaningful attacks, Italy pulled out their best performance yet. Fabio Cannavaro, faultless at centre-back, was once again the key to the clean sheet, but Gianluca Zambrotta deserves to be in the reckoning for man of the match, for his ability to switch between lightning fast wing play and solid defending. And for us Fiorentina fans, it was great to see Luca Toni finally break his duck with two goals in ten minutes. Keep going, Luca, and I might not look such an arse for tipping you for the Golden Boot…

Was this a proper classic Italy performance or were they simply flattered by a particularly clueless Ukraine side? Ukraine certainly seemed to have regressed to something almost as bad as their form against Spain in the opening match. We won’t know for sure until Tuesday’s semi-final. Germany/Sweden… hang on to your hats!

Just musing idly on the latest FIFA rankings, compiled in May. Here are the top 20 countries, along with their progress (where appropriate) in the World Cup…

1. Brazil — quarter finals
2. Czech Republic — group stage
3. Netherlands — second round
4. Mexico — second round
5= USA — group stage
5= Spain — second round
7. Portugal — quarter finals
8. France — quarter finals
9. Argentina — quarter finals
10. England — quarter finals
11. Nigeria — did not qualify
12. Denmark — did not qualify
13. Italy — quarter finals
14. Turkey — did not qualify
15. Cameroon — did not qualify
16. Sweden — second round
17. Egypt — did not qualify
18. Japan — group stage
19. Germany — quarter finals
20. Greece — did not qualify
…
45. Ukraine — quarter finals

So what can we learn from that? Well, one of the main things to bear in mind is that football is a “funny old game”. Egypt are African champions but did not qualify, while most of the African teams present at Germany 2006 did poorly in this year’s African Cup of Nations. Ukraine have progressed far beyond expectations despite looking stodgy and uninspired, while the Czech Republic would need to be finalists to justify their ranking.

Then there’s the method by which the rankings are compiled… all first class international matches (tournaments, qualifiers and friendlies) over the past eight years. Now, for teams such as Brazil or Spain, whose form has been consistent one way or another, the results are fairly predictable (Spain’s excellent form in qualifiers is counterbalanced by their dismal form in knockout matches). But take Turkey, for example… with their wildly erratic form, they failed to qualify in 1998 and 2006, but came third in 2002. Your ranking can suddenly change as the eight-year window passes over an unusually good or bad period.

And then there’s the “weighting” system. Rankings are based on their seven “best” results for each year, with points gained for a win varying according to the quality of the opponent. Teams playing in competitions in Europe or South America are more likely to come up against stiffer challenges, winning fewer matches. In the CONCACAF region, Mexico and USA are clearly the top dogs, but they have plenty of opportunities to gain points, as many of the other highly ranked teams will be comparative minnows.

However, as we all know, the rankings are rendered completely meaningless by the presence of a superior, more accurate and more rigorous rating system… ladies and gentlemen, the pub pundit!

Brazil 3 – 0 Ghana

Apparently, when the Brazilians went on to the pitch to warm up before the match, the Ghanaian players stopped their own warm-up session to gaze admiringly at the football legends on display. I don’t know whether that indicated an excessive sense of humility among the Ghana players or not, but that certainly seemed to be the case during the first ten minutes. Like rabbits caught in bright yellow and blue headlights, the Ghanaians stood and watched as Brazil ran riot. They were lucky only to let in one goal.

However, in today’s edition of the Guardian’s World Cup podcast, Brazilian journalist Fernando Duarte insisted that the way to beat Brazil was to go for it, to run at them “as if your life depended on it”. For the rest of the match, Ghana did precisely this, and were let down only by their lack of confidence in front of goal. Like the Mexicans in their group matches, the Ghanaians seemed to want to walk the ball into the net, frequently missing obvious shooting chances and never trying to beat the Brazilian defenders in the air. And of course, the danger with Brazil is that it only takes them a few seconds to whip the ball up the other end and score, while you’re still rueing your last missed opportunity. That’s precisely what they did for their second and third goals, resulting in a scoreline that doesn’t really reflect the match, which was compelling until the last minute.

Right through this World Cup, one of the catchphrases among BBC and ITV commentators has been: “BRAZIL ARE WINNING COMFORTABLY DESPITE NOT PLAYING THEIR BEST!”. But how do we know they’re not at their best? They looked pretty clever in the Confederations Cup last summer, but still lost to Mexico. This year, the undeniably brilliant individual displays have certainly been marred by a lack of collective organisation, but maybe, just maybe… could this be all there is?

Spain 1 – 3 France

Spain have never beaten France in a competitive match, but the evidence of the past two weeks suggested a change in fortune. Spain qualified comfortably from the group stages despite a lacklustre second-eleven performance against Saudi Arabia, while France had come close to spectacular self-destruction to rival their disaster in 2002. A few days ago, after France had limped unconvincingly through their final group game against Togo, I wondered whether the meeting with in-form Spain would mark the end of this once great team, or whether it would finally spur them into action. I really didn’t expect the latter to happen.

For the first time during Germany 2006, France looked like rediscovering their form of 1998/2000. It wasn’t perfect by any means… they’ve never properly replaced Deschamps and Blanc in defence (and doesn’t Barthez know it!) while Vieira and Zidane are slowing with age and Abidal is no Lizerazu. However, they’re playing with confidence and self-belief and the moves are once again flowing around Zidane, who actually looked like he was enjoying himself on a couple of occasions.

You have to feel for Spain, though… the fans and players must wonder what they have to do to get somewhere in an international competition. No matter how good their players are (their squad is filled with world-class talent this time around) they always under-perform. They’ll look back to their demolition of Ukraine in the first match and wonder how the hell Ukraine managed to progress further than they did. I’m as baffled as they are.

Italy 1 – 0 Australia

While yesterday ended in silent-era slapstick farce (or a Vietnam war movie, perhaps?) today’s play started with full-on soap opera tragedy. The match was no classic, and the Italians spent most of the first half maintaining the status quo, unhurriedly passing the ball about while keeping an eye out for attacking opportunities. The dismissal of Materazzi marked a minor pivotal point in the match, giving the Australians a better chance to play some meaty, determined football, even if they floundered repeatedly against the impenetrable Italy defence. With Harry Kewell on the pitch, even if only for the last five minutes, I’m sure the Aussies could have snatched a goal, but we’ll never know.

Conceding a penalty deep into added time, knowing that the referee will blow the final whistle immediately afterwards, is one of the harshest ways of losing a football match. It’s even more harsh when that penalty is awarded in error.

Ukraine 0 – 0 Switzerland
(Ukraine win 3-0 on penalties)

Artem Milevskiy, I salute you.

After 110 minutes of the most turgid, uninspired football I’ve seen so far in this World Cup, Oleg Blokhin suddenly remembered he had a promising young striker (from Ukraine’s Euro Under-21 runners-up team) on the bench. For ten brief minutes, Milevskiy brought the game to life, making dangerous runs down the wing and providing the missing link in the forward line along with Shevchenko and Rebrov. Then, in the inevitable penalty shootout, he took the first successful penalty with an audacious chip. If Blokhin doesn’t play him from the start against Italy, Ukraine have very little chance of progressing any further.

And what happened to Switzerland? Their goal remained unbreached once again, at least during the standard part of the match, but the goals have dried up completely… they couldn’t even score in the penalty shootout.

Speaking of the penalties, that was the first shootout of this World Cup, and probably one of the worst I’ve ever seen (Spain/Ireland at Euro 2004 was almost as inept). Two of the unsuccessful Swiss penalty takers hit the ball low… a risky ploy, for which they were punished. Even the mighty Shevchenko did the same! Apart from Milevskiy’s cheeky feint-and-chip move, the successful Ukrainian penalty takers did the right thing, aiming for the “unsaveable zone”… shoulder-height, and as close to either post as you dare.

Let’s all pray to the Football Gods for some fast, attacking football tomorrow, eh?

England 1 – 0 Ecuador

Well, once again it wasn’t pretty, but once again it was slightly less ugly than before.

I’m not sure what to make of Ecuador. Powerful and creative against Poland and Costa Rica, they then looked hopelessly deflated against Germany. Today, they managed to condense both moods into one match… I fully expected them to score during the first half, and they started the second half with vigour, but they slowly melted away after Beckham scored England’s goal.

As for England… that defence is still looking jittery. Paul Robinson really has to decide whether he’s the sort of goalkeeper who comes out or the sort who stays put. You just can’t dither between the two, as we found in the match against Sweden. He looked more comfortable as the game went on, though. Frank Lampard is also not quite up to his usual standard. He was involved in some good passing moves today, but his speciality is creating chances and scoring from midfield, and this just isn’t working for him. On a number of occasions over the past four matches, he’s been in a strong striking position with the ball at his feet, only to pass unselfishly to a player in a far less promising position. He just wouldn’t do that for Chelsea.

On the upside, it was great to see Beckham keeping his lunch down long enough to score with that fantastic free kick. The work by the German camera crew wasn’t quite as sharp, though, only panning over to him as he spat out the last few diced carrots. Seriously, Beckham put in a solid performance despite the Delhi Belly, combining well on the right flank with Owen Hargreaves, who is looking better with every match. He certainly seems to have got the hang of the Gary Neville overlapping role. Also improving constantly is England’s favourite round pink thing since Gazza’s fake breasts. Rooney started the match looking a little rusty, much as he did during his last two appearances, but something suddenly kicked in during the second half. He’s still not quite at his best, but things are looking a little more promising for the next round. And speaking of which…

Portugal 1 – 0 Holland

Now, I like watching skilful, creative football as much as the next fan, but there are times when you just want to see a good fight.

It’s difficult to know what to make of this match from an England perspective… there were times in the first 25 minutes (including Maniche’s well-hit goal) when Portugal looked a very scary prospect for the next round, but they also showed a remarkable ability to descend into defensive chaos when threatened by Holland’s wingers, Robben and Lord van Persie.

What came next was certainly chaotic. Sixteen yellow cards and four red cards… that’s a World Cup record. Portugal dived, writhed, whined and howled, but also dished out their fair share of fouls, still finding time to squeeze in some moments of quite beautiful football. I’ve complained about Arjen Robben’s play-acting before, but for once his performance was positively understated, concentrating on his football while anarchy broke out all around him. The rest of the Dutch team weren’t quite so disciplined, happily following the Portuguese into battle with elbows and studs flying.

I suspect Marco van Basten will be out of a job fairly soon. His decision not to pick Ruud van Nistelrooy started to look like the manifestation of something more personal, an outright snub. With five minutes to go, a goal behind and with centre-forward Dirk Kuyt never looking like scoring, van Nistelrooy was overlooked once again, this time in favour of Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink. Okay, so he’s the most spectacularly named player of the tournament, but syllables, as I’m sure Motty would tell us, are not goals. As the red cards started to appear, Holland were twice in the position of having a one-man advantage, but just couldn’t make it count. This is Marco van Basten’s first coaching job, and it shows. To paraphrase (predictably) the Grolsch adverts, “Wait… dis coach ish not ready!”

Oh, and let’s not forget the referee. Having produced his yellow card eight times in the (solid, but not overly aggressive) Switzerland/France snoozefest, Valentin Ivanov was clearly on a mission to referee himself into the record books. Every ref has his own particular style, and some are more fussy than others. Ivanov certainly seems to have a low tolerance for yellow card offences, and stamped his identity on this match in only the second minute, booking Mark van Bommel when a wagging finger and raised eyebrow would have sufficed.

There are two problems with having such a skewed sense of fair/unfair play. Firstly, when a match such as this one escalates into massed petulance, you can’t step up to the “red alert” level of discipline, because you’re already there. Secondly, the players see the opportunity to act up and get their opponents sent off, a practice which, as we saw today, works both ways.

It seems fitting that, in a World Cup where several big teams have produced decidedly mediocre performances, the refereeing has been similarly erratic. I’m reluctant to criticise the men in black, as the fast pace of modern football and the steady stream of helpful (haha!) advice from the players, not to mention the ever-growing list of FIFA directives, have made their job incredibly difficult. However, I’ve seen some pretty bizarre decisions over the past couple of weeks from what is supposed to be the cream of world refereeing. Graham Poll’s nightmare performance during the Croatia/Australia match has grabbed the most headlines, but there’s been plenty more.

The latest FIFA regulation tweaks seem to have created some confusion. I’ve moaned previously about the diving and play-acting by certain players, and to be fair, the FIFA line is “yellow card only when absolutely certain”, but even the most obvious examples are going unpunished. Related to this is the “card waving” mime, whereby players suggest to the referee that an opponent should be booked or sent off. I think I’ve seen one or two players booked for this, but in most instances they’re getting away with it. The ban on the “lunging tackle” has been more successful, but now some referees (possibly those unfamiliar with the harder, faster European game) are going too far, picking up on any tackle where both players are running in the same direction. They seem to be basing their decisions on the movement of the (possibly diving) tacklee rather than looking for lunging movement by the tackler.

Anyway, on to Saturday’s football. Appropriately enough, this looked like being a tale of two referees…

Germany 2 – 0 Sweden

Yep, they’re starting to look like the second greatest footballing country of all time playing at home. The movement between Pig-Climber (come on, allow me my occasional bursts of schoolboy humour) Ballack and Klose were superb, and Podolski’s goals were quite a surprise after his ineffectual striking in previous matches. Sweden, on the other hand, never really got started. They looked stunned by the first two goals and their ageing team was always a couple of paces behind the lightning fast Germans. Swedish football is going through a transitional phase at the moment; just as France now have to learn to cope without Zidane, Sweden now have to adjust to life after the talismanic Larsson.

However, it wasn’t quite as simple as that. Let’s get back to refereeing…

Carlos Eugenio Simon was way out of his depth. I hate to make generalisations about countries and their different football cultures, but this Brazilian referee just didn’t seem equipped for a match between two robust northern European sides. He gave free kicks (and even yellow cards) for tackles where physical contact was minimal, and his dismissal of Teddy Lucic was simply laughable. As the BBC studio pundits said, Lucic’s second offence wasn’t even a foul, never mind a yellow card. With the new FIFA directives in mind, it was particularly galling to see Podolski slapping the referee approvingly on the back… surely that should be a yellow card offence, exactly the same as the “card waving” gesture?

In general, it was like watching Manchester United, Chelsea or Arsenal playing at home, with the referee terrified to give anything serious in front of massive home support. Now, I’m in no position to criticise, as I’d probably crap myself in front of 60,000 roaring fans, but is this is the sort of referee FIFA put on their shortlist?

Argentina 2 – 1 Mexico

Another Argentina match, another absolute delight for the neutral observer. However, while their demolition of Serbia & Montenegro was effectively an exhibition match, this was a proper hard-fought contest. Mexico contributed just as much to the spectacle, exorcising the demons of their half-hearted performances in the group stage with a stunning performance of defensive organisation and flowing passing moves. On his performance in that match alone, Rafael Marquez should be considered one of the players of the tournament. Although Maxi Rodriguez’s wonderfully taken goal was enough to clinch it for Argentina, there really wasn’t much to separate the two sides… the 2006 World Cup is a poorer competition for having to lose one of these teams.

In complete contrast to the previous match, the refereeing display during the first half was almost perfect. Massimo Busacca allowed the play to flow, clearly distinguishing fouls from robust (but fair) tackles and maintaining a good rapport with the players. He continued in the same vein, with only the odd mistake, but unfortunately the rest of the game was overshadowed by that absolute howler of a decision just before half time. Heinze should definitely have been sent off for his last-ditch tackle on Fonseca; how the referee could come to any other conclusion is baffling. Only one major error, and they’re all human, but that decision could have played a major part in the final outcome.

Ukraine 1 – 0 Tunisia
Spain 1 – 0 Saudi Arabia

I believe there was some football this afternoon. Having just returned from a sixteen mile walk over Kentmere Pike, I found myself more captivated by the dual charms of my cup of tea and bottle of ale. Anyone who managed to sleep through the Ukraine/Tunisia match would have enjoyed merciful release from one of the worst matches so far. From what little I saw of the other Group H match, there wasn’t much to recommend it either. I mean, really… beating Saudi Arabia by only a single goal, and from a dodgy free kick as well.

This has been one of the easiest groups of the competition, and Ukraine have been thoroughly disappointing. Even Spain should probably have dominated more against such hopeless non-opposition. So what sizzling superstars will Spain and Ukraine be up against in the next round? Oh, dear God…

France 2 – 0 Togo
Switzerland 2 – 0 South Korea

All of the media attention on Group G has revolved around the deterioration of French football, the debut appearance of plucky Togo and the likelihood of South Korea being able to shine on foreign soil. Away from the media glare, Switzerland were solid, effective and got the job done. They’ve easily been the most consistent team in the group and can look forward to a potentially easy second-round match against Ukraine.

France finally found second gear, but benefitted partly from Togo’s inability to cap their ranging attacking moves with actual shots on goal. A draw with Spain may just finish off this poor France setup for good, or who knows… it might finally spur them into action.

Czech Republic 0 – 2 Italy
Ghana 2 – 1 USA

Along with Group G, this was one of the most interesting in the run-up to the final matches. Any of these four teams had a chance of progressing, but by the same token, any of them could have been knocked out.

As it turned out, the Czechs were again unable to match their form in the opening game, while Italy have started to show signs of being a proper Italian side. If Cannavaro can maintain that sort of quality, Italy won’t be letting in many goals. To be fair to the Czechs, Baros really didn’t look fully match-fit, while the loss of Koller (injury) and his understudy Lokvenc (suspension) affected their game plan badly.

Meanwhile, the once-promising USA limped out of the tournament with a defeat to one of this year’s surprising new discoveries. Although it’s good to see an African team progress to the second round, the USA were unlucky… that match-winning penalty simply shouldn’t have been awarded. Oh, but look who was in charge… Markus Merk, that notoriously erratic referee! Only yesterday, Merk withdrew his official complaint that (after the Brazil/Australia match) Harry Kewell had called him “fucking shit” when his report of the incident oddly failed to tally with those of the other officials. Now, with that in mind, why was he even allowed to referee such an important match?

I’ve been baffled on several occasions by interpretations of FIFA’s latest directives, and I’ll try to find time to moan about them soon. For now, though, there are matches to talk about…

Japan 1 – 4 Brazil
Croatia 2 – 2 Australia

Not quite as open as Group E, but any of the other three teams had a chance to join Brazil in the second round. For Japan, it was little more than a statistical possibility, but it was great to see them really going at Brazil, playing quick, skilful football and scoring a classy opening goal. They were just unlucky to be up against a Brazil team that was starting to get into its (considerable) stride. Before the competition started, I hoped that Brazil had purged themselves of their recent negative style, and for the first two matches I wasn’t convinced. However, this was a tasty performance. I’d love to see them play Argentina right now.

Meanwhile, Australia needed a draw to progress. They stuck at it and got the result (although I’m not sure the change of goalkeeper was the best idea). However, a truly bizarre refereeing performance by Graham Poll made it difficult to see what the real outcome of the match should have been. Poll missed at least another two or three potential Croatia bookings, but what about the other four officials? Didn’t any of them notice he’d booked Simunic three times?

Holland 0 – 0 Argentina
Ivory Coast 3 – 2 Serbia & Montenegro

With Group C’s final matches came further evidence to suggest that Ivory Coast could have been one of the surprise successes of the tournament, if only they hadn’t been drawn in the Group of Death. Ah well… I’m sure that won’t be the last we’ll see of them.

The battle for top spot had been rather heavily hyped, but it really wasn’t a classic. Argentina probably had the edge, especially when both Tevez and Messi were on the pitch and running at the Dutch defence, but Holland had a few good attacks. Given the solid organisation of the Argentinian defence, though, they still look the most likely world champions based on all the matches so far.

Portugal 2 – 1 Mexico
Iran 1 – 1 Angola

… and with that, Mexico now have the unenviable task of playing Argentina in the second round. For several periods in this match (even in the second half with ten men) they showed glimpses of what they can do, stringing intricate passing moves around the Portuguese defence. The one thing they lack is shooting ability; maybe this will change if they can stay in the tournament long enough to make use of Jared Borgetti.

As for Portugal, they deserved the win, but I hope Holland give them a good kicking in the second round. Kick them off the pitch and kick them out of the competition… I’ve seen all I can stomach of that vile, devious little team, with their endless whining, diving and gamesmanship.