The View from the Spaghetti Factory

Germany 3 – 0 Ecuador
Costa Rica 1 – 2 Poland

ln light of the influence Group A has on England’s progress to the last eight, there’s been plenty of speculation relating to the Germany/Ecuador match. If Ecuador, playing five hours before England, were to beat Germany, would England have to contrive to lose against Sweden, purely to avoid meeting Germany in the second round?

Of course, it was all academic in the end, and such an upset was never really going to happen, despite Ecuador’s solid form. With the possibility of earning maximum points in their capital city, Germany were bound to go for it, and they pulled off an impressive win. Ecuador fielded an under-strength side and never really tested the previously suspect German defence. Meanwhile, Poland, playing for pride, finally remembered how to score goals. It’s been a miserable few years for Polish football.

Sweden 2 – 2 England
Paraguay 2 – 0 Trinidad & Tobago

Sweden faced a statistical chance of being knocked out and this showed in their full-blooded style… cleary they didn’t want to be in the position of gambling on the Paraguay result. Although there was plenty of cause for concern in England’s performance, it’s worth bearing in mind that the Swedes were *really* going for it, finally breaking free of the plodding conservatism that dogged their first two matches.

But let’s not be unrealistic. England made a dog’s dinner of what could have been a hard-fought victory. For a supposedly world-class defence to flap so badly at a set-piece is poor, but to do it twice? Paul Robinson’s reluctance to claim loose balls more aggressively was a contributing factor in the second goal, but Ashley Cole, guarding the back post, was at fault both times. Given his relatively small stature, it seems unfair to put him in that situation, but if he is going to do that job, his positional awareness has to improve. It’s a pity… he looked good going forward.

Despite the result, there were several positive aspects to England’s play. Joe Cole did exactly what everyone has been waiting in vain for Ronaldinho to do, with dazzling skill, dangerous runs and a spectacular goal. Rooney still isn’t fully match fit, but he’s getting there, and Sol Campbell looks to be recapturing his best form. Oh, and Owen Hargreaves did a fair bit to answer his critics, casually relieving various Swedish players of the ball at crucial moments.

The (apparently serious) injury to Michael Owen could prove to be England’s biggest setback yet… fingers crossed, eh?

Togo 0 – 2 Switzerland
Saudi Arabia 0 – 4 Ukraine
Spain 3 – 1 Tunisia

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Yesterday, we learned that the French are back in self-destruct mode. Today, we learned that Switzerland can play attacking football. Just think… if the Swiss had been a bit more adventurous against France, Group G could have been even more interesting. Even so, they still seemed to be holding back against Togo, who (once again) couldn’t turn passionate effort into an actual result.

Group H, meanwhile, isn’t looking much clearer than it did a week ago. Ukraine banished the memories of their 4-0 defeat to Spain, beating Saudi Arabia by the same margin. Not wishing to deflate too many parties in Kiev, but hey… it’s only Saudi Arabia, lads. But then the Saudis did hold African champions Tunisia to a 2-2 draw last week. But, but… that was the bad side of Tunisia’s notoriously schizophrenic football personality, whereas their fast, skilful persona nearly caused a major upset against Spain today. But ultimately didn’t.

Oh, I don’t know… I certainly won’t be putting any bets on the outcome of this group. However, I will wager that we won’t see many refereeing displays worse than the one in the Spain/Tunisia game today. Oh well, at least true randomness is statistically fair to both sides.

Further administrative stupidity has been in evidence away from the actual football action, when a group of Dutch fans were told to remove their comedy orange lederhosen. The offending garments, you see, bore the logo of a Germany brewery which wasn’t on the list of official sponsors. It still baffles me that, in a country with a legendary brewing tradition, one of the main sponsors is Budweiser, US-owned purveyors of plastic fake piss.

Japan 0 – 0 Croatia
Brazil 2 – 0 Australia
France 1 – 1 South Korea

After the initial group games, the pressure has been on certain big teams to prove themselves. In today’s matches, the onus was on Brazil to win more convincingly, and on France to… just win, or score a goal at the very least.

Against the open, attacking style of world football’s eternal optimists, the French certainly started in better form than they had shown against the more disciplined Swiss. They still looked pretty mediocre, though, and Henry did little to dispel suggestions that he can’t match his Arsenal form in internationals. More annoying was his ludicrous diving, frequently in situations where his Arsenal persona would have battled hard for a goal.

Even though France controlled the pace for the first 80 minutes, it was telling that they only managed to score once. Meanwhile, the Koreans had only two shots on goal, and scored with one of them. That’s all it takes.

Similarly, Brazil showed a slight improvement, but are still nowhere near the sort of quality their squad list would suggest. Once again, Ronaldo was ineffectual, but was not substituted until the second half… reputation still seems to play a large part in Brazilian team selection. Australia fought hard and often played well, but Kewell’s lack of form reduced their options. Good to hear the Aussie fans reacting loudly to the frequent dives by the Brazilians… it’s a pity the referee didn’t do the same.

Croatia and Japan both needed to get their campaigns back on track, which explains the stalemate. Still, it was entertaining, and it’s a shame that at least one of these teams will be going home next week.

Portugal 2 – 0 Iran
Czech Republic 0 – 2 Ghana
Italy 1 – 1 USA

One moment in today’s first match was guaranteed to bring a wry smile to the face of any seasoned football fan. After seeing one of the Iranian players yield to the softest of challenges, everyone in the Portuguese dugout leapt to his feet in protest at the obvious dive, while the players gesticulated wildly at the referee. How deliciously ironic.

Apart from that, I can’t remember much about that match. Iran might have stood a chance if they’d had the courage to play with more than one striker… as it was, Kazemeian rarely found the ball at his feet. Portugal certainly deserved to win, but for a neutral observer it was like watching paint dry.

While Group D is shaping up to be one of the least interesting, Group E is packed with potential.Today’s first game looked like a perfect chance for the Czechs to build on their impressive performance against the USA, but Ghana had other ideas.

Back on Day 4 I thought that Italy weren’t particularly convincing in their win against an unlucky Ghana. However, everything worked for Ghana today, while the Czechs looked like the post-match celebrations had erased any memory of how they’d so comfortably demolished the USA.

And now for something completely different… hang on, isn’t the comedy warm-up act supposed to come on first? Or was this Greek tragedy? Whatever, the Italy/USA match was like a cross between a classic midwinter Premiership (or Serie A) grudge match and… well, a scrap in the pub carpark. The ITV commentary team made all the right disapproving noises, but this match was every bit as compelling as some of the more skilful displays we’ve seen.

We already knew that Italy have the capacity to self-destruct even more dramatically than England, but they did well to regroup after the Zaccardo own goal and De Rossi sending off. I would have expected more self-control from the Americans, though. With both teams reduced to ten men and knowing that the referee was a stickler, they still started the second half in exactly the same full-blooded style, only to have another player sent off. With the disadvantage in numbers, the USA did well to hold on to the draw. It wasn’t pretty, but perhaps we’re now seeing a little of the true capability of this US team.

Argentina 6 – 0 Serbia & Montenegro
Holland 2 – 1 Ivory Coast
Mexico 0 – 0 Angola

Cutting swiftly to the chase, Holland were lucky to win their match, despite having started in fine form. Arjen Robben couldn’t match his impressive performance against S&M, and instead veered worryingly close to his diving, whinging Chelsea style. Instead it was Robin van Persie, over on the opposite wing, who steered the Dutch team to victory today, with a dazzling goal and some battling defensive work in the last ten minutes. Ivory Coast played well, never gave up and should be proud of their performance in the Group of Death. Holland face Argentina next, and I’m not sure that their centre-halves are up to the job.

Later, an uninspired Mexico were justifiably held to a goalless draw by Angola. Apart from the occasional fleeting hint of Mexico’s true passing ability and the fact that the result was such a massive and fully deserved achievement for little Angola, there wasn’t much to recommend the match. Do I sound like I’m rushing? Well, there’s a good reason…

Quite honestly, everything seemed like an anti-climax after Argentina’s display. We may well see harder-fought contests in this World Cup, and S&M really didn’t muster much of a fight, but that didn’t matter. Argentina were truly spectacular, performing a masterclass in fast, attacking football, where every team member performs his role perfectly and contributes to the system. The whole team was perfectly balanced, with none of the gaping holes (as demonstrated by England) necessitating long balls; everything flowed along the full length of the pitch. Hell, even the substitutions merged seamlessly into the overall plan. They didn’t dive, there were very few fouls and they even had a goal disallowed. I’ll wager there are several international coaches in their hotel rooms tonight, glued to their TVs with the video remote controls in their hands!

[I'm off to the Lake District tomorrow for a week. I'll still be watching all the football, but I'll probably have to write and send blog entries from my phone... apologies for lateness, brevity and typos!]

Ecuador 3 – 0 Costa Rica
England 2 – 0 Trinidad & Tobago
Sweden 1 – 0 Paraguay

Yesterday I said that the Germany/Ecuador game could prove interesting, based on the fact that the German defence was looking quite dodgy. In light of Ecuador’s performance today, that match has gained a whole new level of intrigue. Both teams have now won twice, but where Germany’s shaky defence leaked two goals against little Costa Rica, Ecuador’s defence is as yet unbeaten. In today’s match, as against Poland, they demonstrated that fast attacking flair, which could easily provide Germany with their biggest threat so far.

After all that excitement, I cooled down by watching the England match. I hate to imagine how many journalists (and amateur pundit gobshite bloggers) had already written their scathing reports by the end of that eighty-minute snooze-athon… Owen really hasn’t regained his touch, Beckham was overhitting everything and Lampard and Gerrard seemed to be shooting with hobnail boots on. Joe Cole looked reasonably nippy, while John Terry was rock solid in defence, pulling off a spectacular goal-line clearance at one point. But then, a while after the introduction of The Most Famous Foot In The World and Aaron Lennon, everything suddenly slotted into place. For ten minutes we saw a fast, organised, attacking team who can beat Sweden, Ecuador and… well, let’s not get carried away, eh?

This whole “sluggish big team vs. tough-defending underdog” thing is fast becoming a cliché, and I think we can learn a lot from having seen England, Brazil and Holland’s opening games and Germany’s second game. Increased employment mobility and global TV coverage have resulted in a narrowing of the gap between superstar and underdog; it’s happened in domestic competitions such as the FA Cup, as well as in other sports (it was big news at Wimbledon in the mid-nineties). The big names just aren’t thrashing the plucky no-hopers quite so easily any more, because the no-hopers are learning to concentrate their limited resources on organised defending rather than gung-ho attacking. Speaking of which…

Sweden really didn’t deserve to win. As with Germany/Poland, the deadlock held for so long that a 0-0 draw could be the only fair result. To give Paraguay their due, they looked more dangerous on the attack than against England, but far too many chances fizzled out on the edge of the Swedish penalty box. Sweden looked thoroughly bereft of inspiration until… well, Henrik Larsson didn’t get an honorary MBE for nothing. He’s the archetypal deadly striker and took his chance perfectly, but I do feel for the Paraguayans, who deserved a point for sheer hard graft.

Spain 4 – 0 Ukraine
Tunisia 2 – 2 Saudi Arabia
Germany 1 – 0 Poland

At last! It’s taken us until the start of the second set of group games, but we’ve now seen a proper full-blooded European grudge match. Neither team really deserved to lose, and had Poland’s Radoslaw Sobolewski not been sent off, I think it would have been a draw. Germany’s defence still looked very dodgy (apart from the sterling work of Per Mertesacker) and certainly benefitted from Poland’s lack of attacking creativity. The Germany/Ecuador game could be interesting.

Of the other two matches, I had high hopes for Ukraine. They’ve promised so much in the past (not least when their national squad was effectively that brilliant young Dynamo Kiev team plus a few extras) but never quite made it out of the qualification stage. This is their big chance to show what their players can do, right? Well, on the evidence of that match, no. The mighty Shevchenko hardly touched the ball and was effectively removed from the game by some faultless Spanish defending. On the other hand, Spain were simply mesmerising, with every player combining perfectly to create moves which pinballed from side to side, end to end. Vashchuk’s dismissal (and the subsequent penalty resulting in Spain’s third goal) was unfortunate, and plenty of referees wouldn’t have given anything, but action replays clearly showed him grabbing Torres’ shorts.

Oh yeah, and Tunisia played Saudi Arabia in a dreary, apathetic encounter, distinguished only by a fairly exciting final ten minutes. Tunisia have a reputation for being schizophrenic in big tournaments… we saw Mighty Tunisia win the African Cup of Nations earlier this year, but it was Moribund Tunisia who turned up yesterday. Saudi Arabia looked sharp and skilful, but their lightweight style of play never does them any favours. As Jim Beglin said on the ITV commentary, their football scene is so isolated… all of the players are based at home clubs, they play their international qualifiers (and, presumably, their Champions’ League equivalent) against weak Asian clubs and they rarely play European teams in friendlies, so they never get the chance to toughen up against world-class opposition. Still, when you get a Rolls Royce each just for turning up, what’s the problem?

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There are some great comedy names in this year’s World Cup. Here’s a comprehensive guide to the sort of sophisticated comedy you can enjoy as your brain starts to react to a steady diet of TV and beer.

Bastian Schweinsteiger – Germany’s Mr Pig-Climber.

Otto Pfister – The Togo coach with the Clapham Common surname. As James Richardson (never one to leave a pun unpunned) pointed out on the Guardian’s World Cup podcast, the name is quite appropriate given the upheavals in the Togo camp… first he was in, then he was out, then he was back in again…

Leo Beenhacker – The Trinidad & Tobago coach, who probably gets turned down for lots of jobs in garden centres.

Er… that’s it.

South Korea 2 – 1 Togo
France 0 – 0 Switzerland
Brazil 1 – 0 Croatia

On days like this, I’m always glad I have the multitasking ability which allows me to play guitar, drink beer and read the paper while watching football. Without those small mercies, I’d probably go insane… or perhaps even (gasp!) turn the TV off.

The Korea/Togo match was easily the most watchable, at least during the second half, although I missed out on any excitement by having to record it and watch it after the other two matches, by which time I knew the score. All of the pressure was on South Korea, who reached the semi-finals on their home turf in 2002, yet had never won a World Cup match elsewhere. A win against Togo (lucky qualifiers with a dysfunctional coaching setup) was vital, if only to deflect the inevitable journalistic reminders of the favourable refereeing decisions against Spain in 2002 and of course the Hiddink effect.

When Togo took the lead after 31 minutes, the Koreans were visibly shocked and didn’t start to look comfortable until the second half. Nonetheless, the goal was against the run of play and Togo always looked overstretched, despite an attractive attacking style. By the 50-minute mark, the Koreans had started to play with some of the speed and creativity they showed in 2002, and Abalo’s dismissal simply gave them even more space to push towards the (seemingly inevitable) victory.

And then the day went downhill.

After their dazzling tournament successes of 1998 and 2000, France seemed to be returning to that second tier of countries (I mentioned them yesterday) who have world-class credentials but never match the consistency of Brazil or Germany. On this form, they’re not even in the second tier. Switzerland weren’t exactly swift on the attack and seemed to accept the 0-0 scoreline rather too readily, but at least they were solid and organised. France were simply diabolical. As a huge fan of Zinedine Zidane, I found it particularly depressing to watch him trying in vain to get something out of the match, single-handedly taking on the Swiss defence and berating his players for their apathy. He deserves better than that in his last World Cup.

As for Brazil… well, England can take some encouragement from that performance. Faced with the solid, defensively efficient Croatia, Brazil played exactly like England did against Paraguay. Like Joe Cole, Ronaldinho did his best, displaying a few flashes of brilliance, but the two main strikers just weren’t up to the job. Adriano looked tired and clumsy, while Ronaldo was terrible. Former Brazil/Milan striker Leonardo has been a regular guest in the BBC studio, and his embarrassment at his compatriot’s lazy, uninterested attitude was obvious. With the introduction of Ivica Olic to partner the tireless Dado Prso, Croatia looked far more lively and deserved a goal, but this Croatia team lacks the fire and passion of their 1998 squad.

Australia 3 – 1 Japan
USA 0 – 3 Czech Republic
Italy 2 – 0 Ghana

Can Italy still be considered one of the Big Teams? Taking into account the full history of international football, they certainly can… they’re members of that exclusive band of multiple World Cup winners. However, since Marco Tardelli’s iconic goal celebration in the 1982 final, Italy’s form has been more a case of spectacular underachievement. They now have more in common with countries such as Sweden, Holland, the Czech Republic and of course England… their high-profile players look great in the right context, but lack the consistency (and luck) to go all the way.

For some pundits, this World Cup will see Italy’s return to the top. I’m not going to argue either way… I mean, how can you tell? A good half of the first-choice players were there in 2002 and 2004, while the talented new kids have replaced equally talented veterans. It’s difficult to stop the rot when the underachievement is so ingrained, especially when your record at top-level penalty shoot-outs is even worse than England’s!

As it turned out, Italy certainly weren’t the most convincing team playing yesterday, making hard work of their win against Ghana. Like Costa Rica and Angola before them, Ghana never really looked like they were going to win, lacking the killer scoring instinct to accompany their assured passing ability.

No, the team of Day 4 was clearly the Czech Republic, back in the sort of form they showed before their surprising semi-final exit at Euro 2004. This may be the finest USA team of all time, but they were given a lesson in total football by the Czechs. The serious injury to Jan Koller will deprive them of a guaranteed goal source, but Rosicky is good enough to be among the tournament’s top scorers and combined well with the substitute Lokvenc.

As an Englishman, I’m probably expected to wish a thousand 2005 Ashes defeats on Australia, right? No way! Any team that plays full-blooded, football with proper old-fashioned tackles is fine by me. They fully deserved their victory against a rather uninspired Japan, whose illegitimate goal seemed to shatter the Aussies’ confidence until that spectacular goal rush in the last ten minutes. Spiggin’ awesome!