Blame Canada!

Pointed out on #ukmg by pádraig, this Wired article article tells of a Canadian man who found his Ebay purchase was cancelled by the American seller. The reason given was that the seller, a company called CompAtlanta has the following policy…

At the present time we will not honor bids from Canada, Mexico, France, Germany or any other country that does not support the United States in our efforts to rid the world of Saddam Hussein.

Of course! It’s so obvious! Our countries are spending billions of dollarpounds, risking the lives of thousands of healthy, hearty young men and causing untold damage to Iraqi cities and infrastructure, but there’s no need. To remove the evil of Saddam Hussein, all you have to do is not sell shit to Canadians or Mexicans. Watch him disappear in a puff of smoke as a Seattle branch of McDonalds refuses to sell a burger to a passing salesman from Vancouver…

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It’s springing out there

There are lots of opportunities to discuss dark and negative subjects right now. I think it behoves us (ie we who are not directly involved in fighting a war) at least to keep abreast of the broad issues and arguments on both sides, as well as the general chronological developments. After all, this is history in the making. However, there’s no point getting bogged down in minute-by-minute analyses of which missile is hitting which building in Basra. And there’s no point in calling a halt to regular entertainment events if they’re not a) using valuable war resources; or b) risking national security. So I see as little sense in postponing the Oscars ceremony (in which I have little interest) as in postponing, say, the weekend’s Premiership matches (in which I have more interest, despite a sinking feeling of inevitability).

So, in the spirit of happy diversion, I’ll talk about gardening. No, really…

Sitting outside yesterday afternoon, trying to do some work on the laptop, I was reminded once again of how amazingly easy it is to persuade Nature to come and do its stuff for you. We’re not exactly gardening enthusiasts, but we have our small patch of lawn and a few flowerbeds, so we try to make an amateurish effort, based largely on the triple aims that our garden should look nice, smell nice and taste nice. With no space for luscious lettuces or apple trees, we’re happy to make do with lots of fresh herbs, and it was the sight of our tarragon bush (chopped back to ground level last autumn) stretching its first few leaves out from under a pile of mulch, that made me go “wow!” once again. Add to that the display of spring flowers (we’re living proof that any idiot can stick a few bulbs in the ground) and even the pokiest suburban garden becomes far more than the sum of its parts…

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A weekend in Ulf’s town

The weekend’s over, although the freakishly fine weather looks like continuing for another day or two. With unusually (for us) good timing, Nicola was at a conference in Preston on Friday, so we decided to take geographical advantage of this and spend the weekend up in Cumbria. For a weekend, the more northerly spots we’ve previously favoured, such as Keswick or Ambleside, would be too far, so we decided to explore a new area. Ulverston is on one of the peninsulas that reach out into the mudflats of Morecambe Bay. It’s also the birthplace of Stan Laurel, and has (apparently) the world’s only Laurel and Hardy museum, but with only a weekend to spare, walking had to be our priority.

Cumbria’s extreme south may not have the towering majesty of most of the Lake District National Park, but the low fells, pine forests and tranquil estuaries still have a special beauty. For our Saturday walk, we took the X35 bus to Lindale and explored some of the southern limits of the National Park. Following a series of narrow roads among spring-excited woods and farmland, we joined a walk recommended by one our books taking us past Bigland Tarn, over Bigland Barrow and into Newby Bridge, near the southern end of Windermere. While there, we walked the extra mile or so to Lakeside, a frankly crass tourist venture at the end of the lake proper, before returning to the Swan Hotel at Newby Bridge for a couple of pints of Hoegaarden in the afternoon sun by the River Leven. Bus back to Ulverston in time for solid food and plenty of beer in the King’s Head, Ulverston’s only Jennings pub.

Our train back to London wasn’t until 3:30 on Sunday afternoon, so we had time for another reasonable walk. This time, we stayed local, following the back roads east out of Ulverston to join the Cumbria Coastal Path at Sandside. On a glistening, slightly hazy spring morning, the mudflats looked spectacular. Turning inland at Sea Wood, we went to see the tiny stone circle on Birkrigg Common, before following the footpaths back over the common and into Ulverston.

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The euphemised language of war

Lubin Odana writes of the effect of war on language. We’ve already had the eye-popping stupidity of Freedom Fries, but look out for lots of euphemistical and tactical mangling of the English language during the coming days/months/years (delete as fatalistically applicable).

On BBC Radio 4′s Today programme this morning, James Naughtie interviewed Democrat Congressman Brad Sherman. He’s supporting Bush in the war, and one of his statements caught my gunk-eyed early-morning attention…

If Saddam has the capacity to launch a terrorist attack against America, one would expect he would do so within the next three or four days.

Look at his choice of words there… TERRORIST attack. I admit to being pretty ignorant in terms of global diplomatic protocol, but I was under the impression that this morning’s attack on Baghdad was an act of war. However, if Iraq fights back (the thing people tend to do when they’re at war) it’s terrorism.

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War begins in the small hours

Well, it’s all started. In the middle of last night, somewhat inevitably, the US launched a small number of cruise missile and bomb strikes against Baghdad. Tony Blair only received two hours’ warning of the attack, which suggests (as did this) that the UK and other allies are little more than PR garnish for Bush’s own aims. This *was* a surprise attack, but surely cruise missiles, warships and submarines need a lot more notice than that?

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Keneally in the UK!

Last week was particularly good for me in a musical sense. As you may know (I hardly hide the fact) I’m a quite hopelessly dribbling fanboy when it comes to Mike Keneally. I’ve been buying his albums since the first one came out in 1992. But I’d never been able to see him play live. For a musician with a loyal but small following, touring abroad is an expensive business, and Mike had, until last week, never played his own music in the UK.

So you can imagine I was pretty excited about the clinic tour organized by Taylor Guitars. With trusty bassist Bryan Beller, Mike played five such clinics all over England, ending with a solo gig in Cardiff. I made it to two of the clinics, in Hitchin and Richmond, and was totally blown away two nights in succession.

It’s not just that Mike is a truly gifted guitarist, singer and songwriter… it’s not just that Bryan is one of the most talented bassists you’ll ever hear… it’s not just that they’re both genuine, approachable people willing to spend time talking to their fans… it’s a combination of all these things, and then the fact that there’s this intuitive interplay between the two of them. There were occasions in both of the clinics I saw where Mike and Bryan would respond to each other’s playing without any eye contact… just reacting to the sound of the music, and trusting the other to react in turn to the new direction the song was taking. *That* is what music is all about. Photos soon, once I get them developed…

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Ypres

Last Friday, four of us went to Belgium for the weekend. Now, Belgium’s always a fine place to visit on account of the fantastic beer culture they have. Add to that the art and architecture of towns such as Bruges, Ghent or Antwerp and… well, it doesn’t really deserve the “boring” tag.

In addition to the beer, though, we had another aim. The Flanders region is rich in First World War history; not surprisingly, since some of the bloodiest (and most unnecessary) battles were fought there. The Ypres salient was a small bulge in the western front around the market town of Ypres, where four years of trench warfare, ordered by distant, theorising generals, gained almost imperceptible territory gains at the cost of hundreds of thousands of lives. We wanted to learn more.

The most immediate lesson is the contradiction in scale – in the the battle of Passchendaele, this tiny bulge advanced just 8km in three months, at a cost of 325,000 Allied soldiers and 260,000 German soldiers. Walking around the almost totally flat, boggy farmland today, it’s not hard to see how months of shelling and trench-digging could turn the landscape into one huge, barren mire.

With so many key events happening in such a small area, and with so many cemeteries commemorating individuals, battalions or masses of unknown soldiers, you really need a good guide book. Coincidentally, the week before, an entry on my friend Pádraig’s blog inspired me to borrow Lyn Macdonald’s book ‘They Called it Passchendaele’. Combining the author’s historical account with the real memories of war veterans, this makes the perfect companion to the more tourist-based approach of the Holts’ book. There are plenty of museums… the main one in Ypres offers a great multimedia overview, but a surprising gem can be found in the village of Hooge. This museum has a preserved trench system, complete with dripping underground tunnels, and a fine collection of stereoscopic photographs from the western front. Museums sometimes give a cold, removed sense of history, but the Hooge museum illustrates perfectly the great futility of it all.

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Freedom fries

Via Michael Pierry in the alt.music.mike-keneally newsgroup comes the story of freedom fries. If there are any French people reading this blog, I suggest you go out and burn down your local McDonalds.

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Comments – a consensus emerges

Okay, so three people have emailed me and told me I should add comments. That’s good enough for me. However, I find the Grey Matter manual slightly confusing on the subject of comments, so I’m going to do a bit of research first…

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Webstats again

Another idle browse through the webstats for this site. Some poor (and probably quite disappointed) sod ended up here after doing a search for ‘porn in spaghetti’. I’m not entirely sure what this person was looking for. I’m guessing there are more possibilities open to the female lover of pasta porn, while the male consumer only really has the choice of cannelloni or penne, depending on size…

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