I use a wap-compatible mobile phone, a useful tool for the sort of person who runs out of book or newspaper midway through a journey. Or, therefore, for the sort of person who likes to make such journeys on unpredictable public transport systems. The mobile web is still short of decent content; given both the limited display potential and inherent mobility of its target hardware, much of the sites tend to be of the public information type.
However, there are exceptions. Warren Ellis is one of the most popular bloggers out there, as well as being a highly respected writer. His wap site (http://tagtag.com/ellis) frequently brightens my moments in supermarket queues, train stations and so on. Here’s what you non-wap-users are missing…
I only want to stab people a bit. I don’t think I’m being unfair. But no. People tell me I am a Criminal and Brain-Wrong and should really sit down and take these very large tablets and here’s a nice glass of water. Has it never occurred to anyone that birds probably piss in clouds? Nice glass of water my arse. Have a glass of collected birdpiss rain. Use it to swallow tablets full of mindfucky stuff jerked out of the udders of genetically modified pigs.
I only want to stab people a bit. In the neckbits. And I don’t think it’s fair that I have to drink birdpiss and swallow pig squirtings. Because, frankly, your neckbits are fucking offensive to me.
And, if I’m totally honest, I’m the prime minister and I should get to do what I fucking well like.
(quoted with permission)
See? Go and buy a new phone or PDA… now!