In the post-sleaze world…

Back to the expenses abuses. I’m writing this before I read about Harriet Harman’s expenses reforms, so I’m fully expecting to be disappointed, but still…

Basically, the ONLY solution I can see is to remove the opportunity for abuse. There is a reason why I consider this whole debacle to be less of a scandal than, for example, launching a war based on dodgy intelligence… to a degree, the MPs were only doing what we all do in our own jobs. We all interpret the rules as liberally as possible. The difference here is that they were dipping into public money with such a mixture of arrogance and nonchalance.

So, we remove the room for interpretation. We standardize the entire system.

Constituency residences are entirely the responsibility of the MP, as these are understood to be their family homes. In buying and maintaining (or even renting) these homes, they behave like every other citizen, paying out of the family income. Of course, if they choose to make their family home outside of the constituency (Lady Olga Maitland, former member for Sutton & Cheam, springs to mind) that’s up to them. It’s still their financial responsibility, and the consequences of this choice are up to their local party representatives and the constituents who may choose not to vote for them at the next election.

To complete the accommodation picture, we build (or ideally, renovate) a series of apartment blocks in convenient locations in central London. Every MP has the right to one of these apartments. That’s right, every MP… we’re standardizing everything, and that includes removing any room for argument over what constitutes “too far from Westminster”. Of course, there’s no obligation to live in the state-owned apartments, but no accommodation expenses will be provided by the state. These apartments will be compact, but comfortable; they’re professional temporary accommodation, not surrogate family homes. We’re not monsters in this new, sleaze-free world… they’ll be of a decent standard, with security precautions. Hell, they can even have gyms and satellite TV, given how much sleaze money we’ll be saving!

Travel will be provided for free between London and the constituency (along with journeys to vital meetings and conferences). Standard class trains for the majority, first class trains for ministers, private cars for high-security cabinet members. Standard class flights for extraordinary distances from Westminster. Petrol vouchers, to a value precisely calculated to suit the distance of each constituency from Westminster, will be offered as an alternative to rail tickets. Any other private road travel is the responsibility of the MP. Travel between governmental offices and London apartments will be of the same standard and also free and unlimited. A state-owned taxi company will be set up for late night journeys.

All food in government offices (including the Palace of Westminster) will be free, and of a high quality. All other food will be the MP’s own responsibility. The rest of the population have to feed themselves once they get home from work, you know.

Salaries will be recalculated to allow for the loss of certain expenses, and will be comparative with high-ranking public sector posts. There will still be a rising scale from back-bencher up to prime minister. And there will be no room for negotiation. Because we really don’t want to trust them with setting their own salaries, do we now?

This entry was posted in Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to In the post-sleaze world…

  1. ps says:

    hear hear!

  2. Ross says:

    Dear Mr Clark,

    I look forward to seeing your name on the ballot paper in the next election.

    Kind regards,

    Ross.

  3. adrian says:

    Dear Mr Edwards,

    I’m most grateful for your support. Your “undisclosed” party donation will of course guarantee a range of not-quite-legal perks for yourself and your family…

  4. Steve Dix says:

    “To complete the accommodation picture, we build (or ideally, renovate) a series of apartment blocks in convenient locations in central London.”

    Good idea! We can offset the costs by installing video cameras and selling the TV rights to “Big Brother”.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*


*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>