I’m not a consumer of “Reality TV”. I watched the first series of Big Brother, as it seemed like such a great idea for a social experiment. Everything else I’ve seen of the reality genre has made me want to kill people. However, the new Channel 4 series Space Cadets intrigues me.
On the surface, it’s nothing new… a bunch of ambitious, misguidedly self-confident young adults, with the usual personality types. If you’ve seen any reality TV shows since 2001, you’ll know the stereotype we’re dealing with here… student in some pointless media-related subject, likes clubbing and shopping and wants to drive a Formula 1 car and be famous. Yep, we once had beauty pageants for this sort of stuff, but now we have reality shows. Johnny Vaughan fills the Davina MacCall role by being more or less as cringingly irritating as Davina. And as ever, the contestants are aiming to survive all the challenges, overcome all the interpersonal struggles and win the coveted prize… in this case the chance for four people to go into orbit in a Space Shuttle.
Except, of course, it’s all a hoax.
They think they’re training in Moscow, but they’re actually in Suffolk. Apart from one genuine ex-KGB fitness instructor, all of the instructors and “experts” are actors. The Shuttle is a Hollywood prop, as is much of the equipment they’re using for training. This could be the perfect antidote to the whole sorry reality genre. Rather than squirming uncomfortably as stupid triumphs over stupid, we can now delight in the fact that they’re all being well and truly had.
I really cannot emphasise enough just how stupid, blinkered and self-obsessed these people are. Well, maybe not “stupid” as such… several are students and they mostly seem quite wittily articulate. They just seem so smug and self-satisfied in their worldly wisdom, their cat-got-the-cream delight at being in the Space Cadets shortlist. After a few days of very basic training, and with no background in the military or aeronautics, they’ll be going into space, following in the footsteps of a very select bunch of highly trained and specialised people. No, wait… they’re stupid, utterly stupid. Forget the hoax. Fire them into space.