Football violence and related controversy must have hit a seasonal low, because they’re banging on about ways of rebranding the league again. The premise seems to be the same as when the Premier League was formed… we’re the best teams in the league, but mere tabular recognition isn’t enough. We need a new name, a new sponsor, and autonomous control over our TV rights and cashflow.
However you chop up the league, you’ll see the same patterns, fractal-like… the large team objects to being a part of the same centrally-administered financial system as the small team (and the ultimate result could easily be regression to pre-1888 football, where clubs were responsible for arranging their fixtures).
But if that’s the future of English football, maybe we should embrace it and give those clever marketing boys at TBWA a helping hand. Here’s how it’s going to look…
The Microsoft UK Premiership – Richest teams given byes for all league matches, enabling them to concentrate on European competitions. Bottom team -> Scottish Premier Division.
The Coors/Budweiser League – Champions supposedly play in Europe, although communications with UEFA to that end remain mysteriously unanswered.
The Pop Idol League – Previously the Second Division. Great interest in the League Cup as a side competition; frankly, the only division where the teams are rich enough to travel to fixtures and lowly enough not to be more interested in European competition.
The Wimpy ‘Bender Breakfast’ League – Points awarded according to number of consecutive months spent in financial solvency.