Okay, let’s get this straight. You’re a dastardly Al Qaida terrorist and you want to wreak havoc on the nasty Western infidels in Britain. But first you have to get into the country. So, according to Iain Duncan Smith, who (for non-British readers… actually, there’s probably fair few British readers who don’t know this…) is leader of the Conservatives, our main opposition party, what you do is pretend to be an asylum seeker. You try to sneak into the country, hoping that no one will find you, put you in a detention centre and then deport you. Yeah, right.
Now boys and girls, don’t you think Johnny Terrorist would have a better chance if he was to dress up in a smart suit and use some of Uncle Osama’s funds to buy a business class ticket into Heathrow? After all, no police officer or security guard is ever going to harass a smartly-dressed business man – corporate gangsters are given tacit permission to run our lives, after all. Sweep through customs, pick up your elegant leather baggage from the carousel, and you’re in. Now you can change into mufti, head for the inner-cities and find some disenfranchised young Muslims to convert to the cause.
If you’d chosen the former approach, you’d still be sitting in an asylum seekers’ detention centre, eating lukewarm McDogfood and being strip-searched. Think about it, Iain…